Friday, April 3, 2009

My worst moment of motherhood so far:(

I know there will be many more harrowing times as a mother. Times where your heart breaks into little tiny pieces when your baby is hurt or sick but yesterday was one of the worst moments for me so far.

We took Cameron in for his EEG test at the Neurologist. This was to rule out the seizure question, and to make sure there wasn't something else going on to trigger his little random head movements. The poor guy had to be sedated a little, not put under, just a little sleep drug (step above Benadryl apparently). I think it made him so sleepy that it just pissed him off. So we get into the test room and he is already screaming as the tech is placing 24 electrodes on his tiny little noggin and I am having to hold him down. He was so terrified. When she finally got them all on she had to wrap his head with gauze which made him look a baby Frankenstein to be quite honest. Once the testing started, she flashed this really bright light a bunch of times and that really upset him. How would you feel in a pitch black room with this huge fluorescent light flashing in your eyes? That's when I lost it. It all became too much for me and I literally cried for 30 minutes! He finally fell asleep and i still layed there with him with tears running down my face. My poor little baby was so upset and there was nothing I could do for him.

The good news is that we did not hear from them yesterday. The tech told us if the doc saw something we would know that very moment. So no news is good news in our case.

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